Shelly the Efficient Secretary held the coveted title of Current Champ from Thursday, November 15, 2007 to Thursday, November 15, 2007, heartily vanquishing File Cake to earn it. Unfortunately, brutal defeat came soon after, at the merciless hands of Killer Kitty Calendar.
This hero's magnaminous likeness was captured at the moment of glorious triumph by Kevin .
Quotes overheard while standing in the crowd that gathered to watch the carnage…

Can say anything 10 times fast. He'll defeat the Tongue Twisters faster than a longhorn sells at an... Austin auction. Hey! I get that now!