Bench Sitters

Installment Six

Bench Sitters

In high-stakes endeavors such as battle, with the fate of the world on the line, you always want to give it your best shot. Often, this means that some of the heroes who show up for battle don't quite make it onto the field. But now that the guns have silenced, and the smoke has cleared, we can now clearly view these rejects and misfits. Mulling about headquarters with their hands in their pockets. Disappointment on their faces. As they come to grips with the fact that, for one reason or another, they couldn't do their duty.

Extension

Extension

Of all the bench sitters, Extension actually came the closest to conflict, even accruing an additional note, and a page of his own. But alas, as it turns out his spot in the battle against the dreaded Deadline was promised to someone else, and Extension had to trudge back to his tent, his head bowed low, or at least as low as it can get when it's teetering six feet up in the air.

Rose

Rose

When The Human Feather appeared, HQ at The Army of Kevin was taken quite off guard. In a panic, Cornell searched around for someone, anyone, to throw against this light, playful threat. He eventually recruited Rose, who seemed interested in making a giant pillow with just one feather, and also was keen on getting her hands on army rations, which were a step up from the normal fare at the retirement home. But luckily, before he had to push an old woman into what would be certain death, a new recruit arrived last-minute, stuck to a supply wagon.

Arctic Otter

Arctic Otter

Those of you who are fans of Buster Booster may be surprised to know he was actually the second choice to defeat the slippery Jerry Curl. After much soul-searching, Arctic Otter decided he couldn't face his opponent, especially when compositionally, he just couldn't compete with the pleasing symmetry and ample areas for text placement that Buster Booster could provide.

Offkey

Offkey

There are people in this world, who are born into fame, success, and an impeccable family pedigree, and do everything in their power to exploit this turn of fortune. Then there are those, who wish to make a name for themselves all on their own, without the benefit of being some celebrity's son or daughter. And so it was with Son of Drone, who joined the Cornell side in the Fall of 2008, to face up against Barberchop Quartet. But at the last minute, his secret lineage was revealed, and Cornell forced Offkey to put on a bee costume, and become Son of Drone. In war, you must take every advantage you can.

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A Random Hero!

The Bully Brothers

The Bully Brothers

Crashing parties, smashing dorks. Stop hitting yourself. Why do you like to hit yourself so much? Doesn't that hurt? If it hurts so much why don't you stop already? Aw, look at the big crying baby. Stop hitting yourself baby.