Super Nail-Eating Snail held the coveted title of Current Champ from Tuesday, May 26, 2009 to Thursday, May 28, 2009, heartily vanquishing Santa Claws to earn it. Unfortunately, brutal defeat came soon after, at the merciless hands of Fermenting Tank.
This hero's magnaminous likeness was captured at the moment of glorious triumph by Guest Illustrator Till Lassman.
Quotes overheard while standing in the crowd that gathered to watch the carnage…

Destroys hourglass figures. Time will probably move a lot faster as Hourglass turns into more of a Cylinder or Spheroid of Hate.