Squall: Providing massive power outages
Drysperado: Wanted: for unlawful shrinking of clothing.
Sweat Threat: His many sweatbands swallow moisture.
Hugh Midity: Always surrounded by a cloud of moisture.
Starch Duke Ferdinand: Manifests a stifling stiffness.
The Bends: Contort their way around trouble
Sea Miner: His cleverly-placed mines will sink any enemy ship!
Fuzzy: Adorably unhuggable
Aunt Olympia: Her smothering affection will take your breath away.
Lung Lad: Look! Who's that inhaling harmful winds?
Spin Doctor: His destructive cyclones make any scandal old news.
P.R. Scandal: Prepare reputation for besmirching
Governor Mercy: Grants pardons aplenty!
Extreme Measures: You must be at least this tall to live
Jealous Jockey: Destroys all rivals to his preeminent role on the lawn.
Metro Gnome: Calming angry tempos
Allegrissimo: Speeds musicians up to dangerously-fast tempos.
Lulling Lute: Pacifies, then pulverizes.
The Aching Head: Loud sounds send him into an uncontrollable rage.
Jacques Hammer: Scourge of aggregate stonework and crusty breads.