Phenomenalbert

Phenomenalbert

You can't improve on perfection.

He gets service everywhere — even without a shirt on.

A sensual addition to the The Sultry Sex Squad.

Phenomenalbert held the coveted title of Current Champ from Sunday, April 27, 2008 to Tuesday, April 29, 2008, heartily vanquishing Reality Makeover Squad to earn it. Unfortunately, brutal defeat came soon after, at the merciless hands of Claparella.

This hero's magnaminous likeness was captured at the moment of glorious triumph by Sutter .

Audience

Quotes overheard while standing in the crowd that gathered to watch the carnage…

  1. I've contracted a terrible fit of the giggles in looking at this guy. I can't help but continue to giggle to myself as I look at this and write this. Easily one of my absolute favorites so far!
    I don't know if it's the grin, the chest hair or the low-aperture-style distortion, but I think this is great!
    Great job!

    Heinyken | [ a ]

  2. Oh, the P shaped chest hair, bless.

    Theobold | [ a ]

  3. Defeated by Old Man Time, stealer of head hair. Even perfect people go bald.

    Deaf One | [ a ]

  4. Ah-ha - I've spotted a weakness - no pinkie on his left hand...


    and man boobs.

    sean | [ a ]

  5. That P on his chest is a genius touch! The quality of the drawings on this site just keeps going up!

    Silent Frog | [ a ]

  6. Been a reader of the site as long as I've heard about it in October, and just finally getting to post something.
    Not sure if anyone has thought of this, but this hero strikes me as haven gotten perfected by the "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" team. Not exactly sure how this beats a hero like those guys.

    Karuil | [ a ]

  7. Haha, reminds me somewhat of Perfect Tommy from Buckaroo Banzai.

    burt | [ a ]

  8. His arch-nemesis: Phenomenalernie.

    You know you want to! :-)

    Love this site; keep up the good work!

    Matt | [ a ]

  9. His name is Albert. He is obviously not completely perfect with a name like that, and his secrets have got to be juicy if he's willing to fashion his chest hair into letters. Time will out, I'm sure.

    solaana | [ a ]

  10. My dad's name is Albert. Rawk.

    wildsoda | [ a ]

  11. @Wildsoda: My grandfather's name was actually Albert F. Albert. How cool is that?

    sutter | [ a ]

  12. Humm... ok, maybe it’s just me, but my first thought was it’s reminiscent of “Lord of the Dance”.

    NetDruid | [ a ]

  13. It takes a heckuva man to wear zebra-striped spandex unitard pants with a belt.

    And to rock the Conan O'Brien pompadour, for that matter.

    ajob223 | [ a ]

  14. defeated by... acid. The flesh-eating kind :>

    Euryleia | [ a ]

  15. ajob223-I think David Lee Roth wore that combo once. Wait, does that mean that is Albert's secret identity?

    Bain0 | [ a ]

  16. He appears to be wearing pantyhose. gotta be honest with ya, not really my kind of guy. Love the single raised eyebrow, though!!

    twilight | [ a ]

  17. BAIN0 - I knew I recognized that outfit from somewhere. That is at least part of DLR's ensemble from Van Halen's Jump video, it's gotta be.

    ajob223 | [ a ]

  18. OOOOOh, chest hair! :P

    M.M. | [ a ]

A Random Hero!

The Termite

The Termite

Feasts on wooden things. Babe Ruthless should have steered clear of that mound...