The Loo Beast

The Loo Beast

Only emerges to snatch heads during swirlies.

Poor Billy. I doubt he'll make it to fifth period.

The Loo Beast held the coveted title of Current Champ from Thursday, January 24, 2008 to Thursday, January 24, 2008, heartily vanquishing Billy Goodsport to earn it. Unfortunately, brutal defeat came soon after, at the merciless hands of The Clogger.

This hero's magnaminous likeness was captured at the moment of glorious triumph by Kevin .

Audience

Quotes overheard while standing in the crowd that gathered to watch the carnage…

  1. Also known as "The Creature From The Black Loo-goon," right?

    burt | [ a ]
  2. Haha - NICE, Burt!

    bearskinrug | [ a ]
  3. very n1

    stex | [ a ]
  4. I cant help myself at guessing... I'm sorry guys, but a cherry bomb would finish off this loo-ny in no time.

    Shaun S | [ a ]
  5. Is that one of the heroes from the Fruit of the Loom commercials?

    bearskinrug | [ a ]
  6. Farnie!! i like it!!

    Quirkz | [ a ]
  7. oh... this is a nightmare...

    I used to be afraid of the loo beast taking a bite on a late night... for real.

    AConerlyColeman | [ a ]
  8. Those terrible commercials from the '80's where the toilet comes to life because the women didn't spray it with a special potion? I'm still afraid that the seat will grow teeth and snarl at me.

    M. M.  | [ a ]
  9. Is't the loo-beast also in "Look who's talking". That movie made me afraid to go to the restroom for like 3 years when i was a kid.

    mdot | [ a ]
  10. My toilet snatches turtle heads all the time.

    Also, do the skull's teeth spell a word? My eyes and monitor suck, but it looks like "Bongo" to me.

    ajob223 | [ a ]
  11. An aquatic ambush predator that can squeeze into a small space, eh?

    Aha! I knew Pus in Boots lived. This is his new secret identity!

    Dvlfish | [ a ]
  12. That must be his name, Ajob223. Bongo the Loo-beast.

    Shaun S | [ a ]
  13. Oh my....I literally almost fell out of my chair. I love it. Great Job.

    Jo | [ a ]
  14. I'm so very glad you mentioned that he only operates during 'swirlies' as apposed to 'whenever you are exposed doing other things'. My sleeping patterns are eclectic enough as it is.

    Tom | [ a ]
  15. Sacrifices to the Loo Beast, sometimes known as performing a Shallow Six, calm the flood. If the Loo Beast is not satisfied the only recourse is vigorous plunging.

    Tel | [ a ]
  16. AbsoLOOtly Amazing Kevin!

    Mountain Gnome | [ a ]
  17. Pardon me, but... this creature beats Billy Goodsport's superpower by... ?

    L | [ a ]
  18. Well, when Billy Goodsport inevitably gets a swirlie (which we know he won't try to avoid, because he's such a good sport), the Loo Beast will emerge and take Billy's head, thus neutralizing Billy.

    bearskinrug | [ a ]
  19. The swirlie being, according to wikipedia:

    The act of holding the victim upside down with his or her head in the toilet bowl, and flushing. Typically perpetrated by two or more older, larger individuals. Can result in injury and charges being filed. More commonly known as bogwashing in the U.K, or dunnyflushing in Australia.
    Just so you know.

    bearskinrug | [ a ]
  20. Ah, I see it was for colloquial reasons that I did not get this at first, thanks Kevin!

    Stevie K | [ a ]

A Random Hero!

The Corkslinger

The Corkslinger

Plugs up excreting holes with well-aimed corks. From the smallest pore, to the largest orifice.