Cassanova Cobra: Deadly charming
The Sexy Zookeeper: Highest "Mating-In-Captivity" success rate amongst all the nation's zoos.
The Birds and the Bees: Creating father/son rifts through awkward conversation.
Hyper Team: Tim (son): Hyper-Sensitive to his Body Odor. Ted (dad): Hyper-Litigious.
Co-Eddie: Obsessed with the cleanliness of others.
The Penitent: His public tarring just didn't feel humiliating enough.
The Human Feather: Prepare to be thrown slightly off-balance by The Human Feather!
Ladderus: Hurls debris at his enemies while perched atop his Ladder of Doom.
Sweaty Palmer: Drenching you in Fear! ...and sweat.
Xplode: Has Xciting supply of illegal fireworks.
Bored Office BersWerker: "I drink ten cups a day. Your tea is no match for me!!!"
Teavil: Nanny's tea time just got bloody painful.
Nanny Sod-Off: Advocates strict, even-handed discipline.
Kid Zombie: The attention span of a kid. The bitey-ness of a zombie.
Dr. Empathy: Employs mind-bending therapeutic listening powers.
Capn' Skard: His sole mission in life is to avenge his partner's Kraken death!
The Floor Kraken: Makes misrolled objects disappear!
d20: Doesn't roll for Damage, only Death.
The Stork Orc: Him terminate birth in that theological grey area.
Baby New Year: Kills calendars every January 1st.
Killer Kitty Calendar: Lies in wait on The Secretary's movable wall.
Shelly the Efficient Secretary: Preternatural File Detection skills.
File Cake: Sneaks in the files — breaks out the felons.
The Warden: No plant can survive 30 days in the hole.
The Shiv Cactus: Enjoys direct light, high heat, and bloodlust.
Glowbo: Over-exposes film with his penetrative Glowbobeam™.
The Silent Film Director: Despises temptations of the ear.
The Foley Brothers: Making annoying noises ABOVE ground.
The Baffler: Travels the countryside laying sound-proof, foam squares to protect the populace from unwanted, underground noise.
The Underminer: Tunnels to potential prankees and warns them.
The Prankster: Replaces everyday objects with hilarious rubber facsimiles.
Forge Smith: Pounding any metal he can find into paper clips.
Poachbot 12-P6: The deadliest mechanical-monster poaching poaching mechanical-monster known to all of mechanical-monster kind.
Ramboni: Flattens all ice.
Isaac Coles: Freezes gum off of any surface!
Bubba Hubba: Litters the world with a gummy, sticky residue.
The Boot Brute: No obstacle is unkickable to The Boot Brute
Obstacle Force: Look out, Evil!
Blind Neddie: He is worthless to the armed forces.
The Charismatic Recruiter: He used to be just like you...
Doug, The Slacker Next Door: Instantly charms all oppressed teenage girls.
Over Protective Parent: <u>Never</u> leaves its children alone.
Fun Uncle Stu: Lets kids have all sorts'a fun when those UPTIGHT parents ain't around!
Screamin' Sara Jenkins: Routinely wakes up for a drink of water and catches burglars.
Phillip LePhipp: Competitive Burgling World-Record Holder (1998-Present)